Journaling

The Truth Can Hurt

I wrote this yesterday:

 

So. 
What was supposed to be another chemo treatment day turned into something much different. 
I’m sitting in a transfusion area waiting for the lab people to cross/match my dad’s blood so that he can get a blood transfusion. (All his levels were extremely low–mostly due to the chemo.) 
The Lord showed us grace this morning as we found out a little more about the cancer. Deep down I think we all knew what was going on, but to finally hear it from the doctor made a big difference.

Basically, my dad’s form of cancer is not curable. There is no known treatment that has been found to kill the cancer cells.

So all the chemo that my dad has been going through over the past 6 month has just been to help slow things down some….so in order for him to stay alive, according to the doctors, he would have to stay on some form of chemo for the rest of his life. 

Y’all, when we heard those words come out of the doctor’s mouth, we couldn’t help but cry. We sat in the room and cried for about an hour. 
My dad is so confused and hurt. He doesn’t understand why this is happening. He doesn’t understand why God isn’t healing him. It doesn’t make sense.

It doesn’t make sense to any of us. Why God chooses to heal some people and not others doesn’t make sense to me. My tiny brain can’t comprehend it. And I’m thankful it doesn’t. Things like this remind me of the greatness of The Lord. He knows all things, understands all things. And I can trust Him, even when I don’t get why my dad has this form of incurable cancer. Pray that The Lord would break through the spirit of depression that has latched on to my dad. Pray that my dad would find peace in light of this news. 

So now we as a family are face with a crossroads. 
Should my dad keep going through treatment to prolong his life? (And he would be sick a majority of the time due to the treatment.)
Or is it time to stop treatment so that we can really enjoy what time we have left with each other?

This isn’t going to be an easy thing to decide. So please pray for grace as we start to make these decisions over the next couple of weeks. 

In the meantime, my dad has a PET scan next week sometime to find out if the current chemo treatment has been effective to keep things at bay. So I will keep you all posted. 

I love y’all. And I’m thankful for your support through this process. 
Blessings.

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One thought on “The Truth Can Hurt

  1. My heart breaks for you and the family Bekah. But God is using you in ways you may not even know. In my study with the youth I asked them how should be react when bad things or things we don’t expect happen in our lives…and I used you as an example as how we should react and I could tell your story touched some of my youth…though you should know. Your an example to me too. Love you!

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