Dear Dad · Journaling

Dear Dad–It’s the Holiday Season

I can’t believe that it’s almost Christmas.

I feel like this Christmas is special because it’s my first one with Jon. We’re starting traditions and just enjoying the season together.

But in that, there’s this deep place in my heart that still hurts from you not being here.
We’ve been walking in a season of uncertainty.
And I’ve been battling hardcore with fear. And ultimately I’ve had to choose what/who I am going to worship and trust.
It comes down to me making the choice to trust the Lord in all things.

It’s definitely been hard, and some days I succumb to my fears and live out of them.
It’s not healthy.
But it’s sometimes the only thing I can do.

I wish you were here in this holiday season to just sit with me and remind me to take deep breaths.
To remind me that life isn’t always easy.
But that it’s the hard times that grow us and shape us the most.

You often told us stories about your life and you would highlight some of the harder times, not because you gloried in them.
But because you were able to look back and recognize the goodness of the Lord and His hand in all of it.

The holiday season is going to look much different this year–I mean, I have a whole new family!
We’re learning how to divide our time and love our families well.

Dad. Christmas season is always bittersweet.

We miss you.
I love you.

Merry Christmas.

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